"Someone is interested in me!"
When we help a child feel safe, give it attention and when through socializing with us adults they can say, ‘Someone is interested in me!’ exclusively by the way we see, listen to or talk to them: we then influence the whole character of the child, we influence their experience of life as well as the world around them.
There is an opportunity in enrolling at the Older Brother, Older Sister project to show children that they are seen, that their needs are recognized and that you are there for them, which is simultaneously massive happiness for us volunteers, too.
When we first met, the girl was quiet and responded in short sentences when chatting with me as children usually do in new situations. However, on our first individual meeting, when we visited the Museum of Optical Illusions, that situation changed. The girl was cheerful; she went from one room to another full of energy, was tirelessly exploring around, asking questions, and so on. On the way back home, she was singing and laughing. And she said that day was an amazing day to her; I was speechless with how little was needed for her to be happy. That is interesting to me because I initially feared failing in fulfilling the role of an older sister, and she immediately showed me on our first meeting that there was no need for me to be concerned about such things.
We continued socializing regardless of the COVID-19 pandemic outbreak. I instantly contacted the girl to learn in what ways I can support her, and together we made a meeting plan. We continued hanging out online: we played board games on video calls, studied, and did homework together. After those several months, we were at last given permission to meet in person, and it was exactly in that period that her birthday was approaching. We went to a nearby sweet shop to celebrate her birthday. Naturally, she could not wait to open her present, and when she finally saw everything that was in it, there was no end to her happiness. Among other things, she liked the bracelet that she immediately put on her hand. We decided to go for a walk afterward; and while we were walking, she told me that was the most beautiful bracelet she has ever seen and that she will never take it off for the rest of her life. Her special day simultaneously became one of my special days. The same happened for my birthday: she bought me a present related to what she heard I wanted. For instance, I love owls, and, of course, the owl was part of the present with a greetings card from her, too, which was one of the special ones that I received that day.
When it comes to our meetings, I would single out our visit to the hill Hum above Sarajevo on which there is a well-known television transmitter. She often commented something related to that transmitter; for example, how it was weird to her that it sometimes looked smaller even though we were closer to it. Remembering that, I decided one day to prepare a little surprise for her and to take her to see that exact television transmitter. We usually arrange where we will hang out, but that time I told her that I had a surprise for her and I hoped that she would like it. We bought some food, bottled water, and we set off for the hill Hum. She could not guess at all about where we were headed until we arrived very close to the transmitter on what she exclaimed, ‘Transmitter!’ We approached it closer; she analyzed everything and was greatly surprised with how it looked up close. She even commented on how she could not believe that it looked like that and how it was more beautiful from afar or at night.
On one of the workshop’s months after that, children were given a task to draw some situation in which they felt truly happy. My younger sister drew the two of us standing by the transmitter. At the same time, I felt happy because that outing meant so much to her, but on the other side, she confirmed to me the importance of us volunteers in children's lives.
I would also highlight the day we went to see a play which was more than interesting. We decided to try finding the theatre together. We asked passers-by for directions and followed instructions (even though I knew where the theatre was), but that was one of the examples of why this project is therefore called the mentoring project: we strive to take children to places they did not have the opportunity to visit but also teach them through everyday life situations how to react appropriately. Through socializing with me and besides finding a location, my younger sister learned how to properly use the cutlery, how to order and pay for food, manage her time, express herself in particular situations, and many other things that will definitely benefit her in her day-to-day life.
Aside from socializing with the girl through volunteering on this project, I would also like to mention the advantages of socializing with the other volunteers on the project and our coordinator too. Namely, we have talked about challenges we faced at the consulting meetings, and each time we were given adequate support, not just for this project alone but our personal life struggles and challenges, too.
I somehow realized, through socializing with my younger sister, how children are actually wise: they will respond with loveto love, they will easily accept arrangements if the reasons for them are explained, and they will co-operate if they are properly approached.
Maybe we cannot build a future for children, but we can help children to build themselves for the future that awaits them.
By Sanela Šehić, volunteer in the Older Brother, Older Sister project
